{"id":131,"date":"2016-12-27T04:03:28","date_gmt":"2016-12-27T04:03:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mathwise.net\/?p=131"},"modified":"2016-12-27T04:03:28","modified_gmt":"2016-12-27T04:03:28","slug":"affluenza-teen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mathwise.net\/?p=131","title":{"rendered":"Affluenza’ teen"},"content":{"rendered":"

Affluenza’ teen: Seven ways you can prevent this parenting tragedy from happening at home<\/strong><\/p>\n

By John Townsend<\/a><\/p>\n

Ethan Crouch is back in the news.<\/p>\n

In 2013, the Texas teenager killed four people and seriously injured two while drunk driving. On top of this tragedy, he was then treated leniently by the court because he was described as having \u201caffluenza,\u201d meaning that being raised indulgently by wealthy parents, he was not responsible for his actions. There was a media uproar by people angered by both the young man\u2019s actions and by the lack of appropriately severe consequences for the devastation he created.<\/p>\n

Now, in a bizarre development, Ethan and his mother have disappeared after he failed to report to his probation officer. The juvenile-justice equivalent of an arrest warrant has been issued for him.<\/p>\n

If you are a parent, you are probably somewhat dismayed and frustrated by the levels of dysfunction that appear to exist in the young man and in his family. And you are most likely also concerned about your own kids, and how to inoculate them from whatever emotional conditions Ethan is truly experiencing.<\/p>\n

I cannot diagnose Ethan\u2019s psychological state, not having interviewed him for a clinical evaluation. But the attitudes and behaviors that are ascribed to him in the media loosely fit patterns of a condition called entitlement, which is an aspect of a narcissistic personality disorder. In my new book “The Entitlement Cure<\/a>,” I define entitlement as two attitudes: (1) denying responsibility for one\u2019s choices, and (2) demanding special treatment. The combination is destructive. The first one almost guarantees life and career failures, and the second one, relational shipwrecks.<\/p>\n

All of us parents want healthy and successful kids. We don\u2019t want a bad ending as is happening so far in the Crouch family. So what can we do today, to keep even a trace of this sort of tragedy from occurring in the four walls of our homes? Here are some parenting tips that will go a long way in protecting your child from contracting the disease of entitlement.<\/p>\n

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  1. Combine love and limits. <\/strong>Research says that the two most important factors in raising healthy children are warmth (positive nurturance) and structure (boundaries and consequences). Children need to know they are loved unconditionally and that their parents are engaged emotionally with them. This gives them the security, safety and confidence they need to begin to face life. At the same time, clear house rules and age-appropriate consequences provide a predictable structure and path for life, helping them to focus, stay on task, curb their impulses and develop a work ethic. When parents nurture but neglect structure, the child can develop a sense of entitlement, translated as \u201cI can do what I feel like when I feel like it\u201d, which is a recipe for disaster.<\/li>\n
  2. Praise that which requires effort. <\/strong>Children need praise, which fills them up inside, helps their self image and fuels more positive behavior. But praise those behaviors which require some work and which show character development. For example:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n